No one prepared me for this

This is a warning: This post is about poop. If this disturbs you, you probably shouldn't be reading my blog anyway.

The Tyrant pooped in the tub tonight. For the first time. Ever. No, really. I was getting Peanuty Goodness to sleep when The Big O tells me that there is a particularly stinky mess floating (floating!? Who knew it floated?) in the bath. My first thought was, "Thank God I threw out those squirty bath tub toys." I shudder just thinking about that possibility.

So I did what any normal person would do. I sent a text to my BFF, who may or may not have had this problem before, asking what should I do. I didn't want to reach in the water and pull out the stopper. What if it went down the drain? Or worse, what if it didn't? Honestly though, I really didn't want to stick my hand in that water. I love my children, I really do but there are limits. The water just plain grossed me out. And I had a home water birth with Peanuty Goodness. The irony, right?

Anyhoo, I stood there analyzing the situation hoping the answer would come to me while I tried to figure out what I had fed him from the remnants. I had a very "look but don't touch" attitude. By the way, blueberries and edamame will retain their shape amazingly well if your child is like mine and swallows them whole like a baby dinosaur.

In the end (get it? in the end....funny shit. Oh, there I go again!), I went with the path of least resistance. That's right, I turned the shower head on pulse/ massage and beat the hell out of that shit right down the drain. Unfortunately, I had to throw out my shower puff. Who knew it splattered as well as floated?

Also, I'd like to give a big HELL YEAH! to the makers of Clorox Clean Up Wipes. Not the most environmentally friendly, but fantastic nonetheless.