I recently posted this on a parenting board I belong to and think it's reflective of my cake needs at any given time. Yes, I have cake needs. Doesn't everyone?
If you're craving cake and decide to make one, make sure you have all the ingredients you need first. If you know you're out of milk, DO NOT use the recipe that has no milk in it. Wait until you can get milk as this recipe sucks balls. Your cake will have the texture (but none of the fun) of a brownie.
What? You'd like frosting? Buttercream? No problem. Wait, no milk. Ah-ha! You have soy milk! Same thing, right? NO, NOT EVEN CLOSE. Put it down and back away. This will give your frosting a weird sort of lemon-y flavor that while not unpleasant (it is buttercream after all) is just odd.
And even if your husband tells you he's an architect, DO NOT let him frost the cake. Your kitchen table will look like a Jackson Pollack canvas when he's done.
All in all, your brownie textured cake with soy milk buttercream frosting sucks and your cake craving is so now out of control that you're contemplating walking 6 blocks to the supermarket in a foot of snow, uphill the way back and your kitchen needs clean-up from the HAZMAT team.
Not that I did this. I'm just sayin'.
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