Didja miss me?

It's been a little crazy 'round here lately, forgive my absence. Nothing really unusual, just life getting in the way of me telling you about life getting in the way.

That's right, I have no news to report, no gossip to share, no snark to unload. I'm just going to sit here and let my train of thought run your ass down like you were standing on the tracks and didn't hear the whistle.

It's finally a beautiful sunny day and I spent the morning running errands, changing shitty diapers at the grocery store (because that is the ideal place) and then fighting two small children into their car seats. Peanuty Goodness has pooped the last two times we've gone to the grocery store and since I only have two hands, the diaper bag stays in the car so I can bring in the reusable grocery bags and the kids. If I knew I wouldn't get arrested, I'd consider leaving the kids in the car and bringing the diaper bag into the store; it gives me much less trouble and doesn't pull things off the shelves. Changing a diaper sitting in the driver seat because your two year old refuses to get out of the passenger seat is challenging, at best. At worst, it's downright messy. But I prevailed. Without losing it, I might add. Points for me!

After getting home, I made The Tyrant's lunch, my lunch and then got a bug up my ass and made Peanuty Goodness spinach, peas and pears from scratch in the blender. Fresh spinach, fresh peas and a whole, cored pear blended and Viola! Lunch. I never had it so good. Ramen noodles and Swansen frozen beef and gravy in bag shit that you can thaw and put over a slice of white bread was my parents idea of a balanced diet. I was also a latch-key kid so my diet was limited to how well I could reach the stove top. I forgot! Stove Top! That stuff was great! Except the nasty Corn Bread flavor, eww.

Either way, I'm feeling all Goddess/ Earth Mother and cleaning up after providing sustenance for my offspring when I get a little enthusiastic and break one of the wine glasses that's been hanging out in the sink for almost a week because my inner Goddess/ Earth Mother doesn't want to wash dishes. She's a lazy bitch sometimes.

Now I'm down a wine glass. I take this to mean that I should drink more wine. There is no rhyme or reason on how I leapt to that conclusion but that's the one I'm sticking with because it makes me happy.

The Big and I are going on a date tonight and hopefully I can stay awake past 10 and have something more to talk about to him than the fact that I changed a diaper at the grocery store. Maybe I should ask my Goddess/ Earth Mother for topic ideas.